Monthly Spark Newsletter
November 2024
As the holiday season draws near, we're choosing to focus less on food indulgence and more on a deeper source of fulfillment: our relationships. Amid the seasonal hustle, it’s easy to overlook how profoundly meaningful connections and a sense of belonging nourish our well-being.
In this month’s newsletter, you’ll discover insights on the powerful impact of relationships on our health and simple ways to nurture and strengthen them.
We’re also sharing a post-election meditation to help you stay grounded. No matter where you stand on the political spectrum, this podcast will support you in staying present—connected to yourself, to others, and to your core values.
Why Relationships Matter
Relationships are the heart of human experience—they’re essential to our sense of belonging and well-being. While physical needs like food and shelter sustain us, it’s our social bonds that nourish our hearts and minds. Whether it’s the love of a partner, the camaraderie of friends, or the support of a community, these connections create a foundation for happiness, security, and growth.
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to overlook the importance of connection, but research and experience reveal that fulfilling relationships impact everything from our physical health to our emotional resilience. One study, which examined data from more than 309,000 people, found that lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50% — an effect on mortality risk roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical inactivity.
The number, quality and frequency of connections truly support our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
The Science Behind Relationships & Health
Friendships, especially high-quality ones that offer support and companionship, significantly boost well-being and protect against mental health challenges like anxiety and depression. These benefits are consistent across the lifespan, providing lasting mental health support (Pezirkianidis, C., et al., 2023; Blieszner, R., et al., 2019). Friendships can also change how we respond to stress: for instance, research shows that blood pressure remains lower when talking to a supportive friend compared to an ambivalent one, and having a friend nearby during a tough task reduces heart rate reactivity (Holt-Lunstad, J., et al., 2007; Kamarck, T. W., et al., 1990).
Interestingly, the building blocks of friendships—like chemistry, warmth, and intimacy—often overlap with those of romantic relationships, showing that both types of connections provide similar emotional benefits (Ledbetter, A. M., et al., 2007; Campbell, K., et al., 2015).
Beyond close friendships, even brief encounters with acquaintances, like a weekly chat with a neighbor or a friendly exchange with a barista, can lift our mood. Research suggests that people who engage in more "weak-tie" interactions feel happier, and people generally experience a mood boost on days when they have more than their usual number of these interactions. In fact, repeated interactions with strangers can make them easier and more enjoyable over time (Sandstrom, G. M., 2014; 2022).
Ultimately, whether it’s through loved ones, close friendships or casual connections, these social bonds provide a powerful source of mental and emotional well-being.
Strengthening Relationships with Intention
Building and nurturing meaningful relationships is essential to our well-being, and by taking intentional steps, we can make our connections deeper and more fulfilling. Here are some practical ways to strengthen your relationships and bring more joy, support, and connection into your life:
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Reflect on Your Needs
Start by assessing what you want from your relationships. Think about your needs for love, friendship, and support. What does connection mean to you? Are your current relationships fulfilling these needs? Consider whether you’re investing enough time in these bonds. Rate your satisfaction on a scale from 1 to 10 and consider what needs to take place to increase that number. -
Create a Safe Space for Connection
Building strong connections starts with making others feel safe. Consciously practice being fully present and actively listen to both verbal and non-verbal cues without judgment. Reducing negativity, like criticism or judgment, allows connection to thrive. Approach others with compassion and understanding to foster trust, and joy in every interaction. -
A Mindset of Openness and Curiosity
Be genuinely interested in others' perspectives and experiences, rather than bringing assumptions or judgments into the conversation. Even if you may not agree, you can affirm and acknowledge what is being said. This approach encourages deeper connections, signaling that you value and respect what others have to share, making them feel seen and appreciated. -
Honor Your Authentic Self
Belonging starts from within. Reflect on your values, passions, and goals, and seek connections with people who resonate with them. Authentic connections—through shared activities, conversations, or mission-driven goals—attract like-minded people who genuinely support and uplift you. -
Show Appreciation and Empathy Regularly
Small, sincere gestures, like compliments or acknowledging someone's effort, can deepen bonds. Focus on the positives in your relationships to help them grow. Empathy, or truly putting yourself in another’s shoes, allows you to connect emotionally by listening and experiencing the feelings of others as if they were your own. -
Create Meaningful Experiences Together
Shared experiences build strong connections. Organize small gatherings, shared meals, or fun activities that foster joy. Research shows that couples and friends who have five positive interactions for every negative one report greater relationship satisfaction, highlighting the power of light-hearted fun to keep connections vibrant. -
Connect with Acquaintances, Colleagues and StrangersConversations with strangers may seem daunting.Try tapping into your curiosity—ask a question about something they’re wearing or comment on your shared environment. For example, noticing unique decor in a shop or remarking on an interesting book they’re reading can open the door to deeper, more memorable exchanges.
These steps not only strengthen your bonds but also set a positive example for others, encouraging a ripple effect of meaningful relationships around you. And remember, building and nurturing relationships is a journey. Progress is more important than perfection. Embrace experimentation, remain open to new ways of connecting, and cherish the joy that comes from sharing your life with others.
Food-For-Thought
Post-Election Meditation for Connection to Ourselves and Each Other
In this episode of Dan Harris's 10 Percent Happier podcast, Oren Jay Sofer offers a meditation to help us navigate powerful emotions, no matter where we stand on the political spectrum. As we face the flow of change and uncertainty, he reminds us that it’s natural not to know what lies ahead. Instead, our role is to stay present and grounded—connected to ourselves, to one another, and to our values. By focusing on what we deeply care about, we can act from a place of love and respond to the world’s needs with clarity and compassion.
Click HERE to listen.
Monthly Recipe
Thanksgiving Recipe by Love&Lemons
This sweet potato casserole recipe will warm the hearts and stomachs of your friends and family this Thanksgiving. It’s healthy, vegan and flavorful, and—best of all—you can make it ahead. Even without a marshmallow topping - you and your guests will love it!
For the sweet potatoes, you will need:
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Sweet potatoes, of course! You’ll need 5 large for a 9×13-inch baking dish.
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Butter or olive oil – For richness.
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Milk – It helps the sweet potatoes blend into a smooth and creamy puree. Use any kind you like!
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Ground ginger – For warm depth of flavor.
For the crumble topping, you will need
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Pecans and walnuts – Pulse some into the crumble and leave a few whole for garnish.
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Old fashioned oats – For hearty texture.
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Fresh rosemary, sage, and dried thyme – For savory autumn flavor.
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Garlic – Along with the herbs, garlic gives this sweet potato casserole its delicious savory taste.
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Pure maple syrup – It adds a touch of sweetness to the nutty topping.
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Butter or olive oil – To help the topping crisp up in the oven.
Click HERE for full recipe and instructions.
Monthly Challenge
Strengthen Bonds & Spark New Relationships
for a Healthier, Happier You!
Around the holidays, it's easy to get caught up in the whirl of social activities and perhaps lose track of their deeper purpose of connections. During this busy season, take time to foster meaningful relationships. By being intentional about these engagements, you are prioritizing your health and wellbeing and will find joy and laughter along the way.
Here are a few creative challenge ideas to help deepen existing connections and spark new ones:
Week 1: Curiosity Challenge
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Goal: Make interactions with acquaintances and strangers more meaningful.
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How: Each day, approach someone with a sense of curiosity—whether it’s a colleague you don’t know well, a friendly neighbor, your local coffee barista or someone in a store. Ask open-ended questions or comment on a shared experience, like “What do you like about this place?” or “How’s your day been so far?”
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Outcome: Encourages deeper conversations and can lead to surprising, new connections.
Week 2: Gratitude Challenge
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Goal: Increase positivity in existing relationships.
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How: For one week, each day write a short message of appreciation to someone in your life. It could be a friend, partner, co-worker, or even a casual acquaintance. Mention specific qualities you admire or recall a favorite memory with them.
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Outcome: Practicing gratitude strengthens relationships by showing others you value them, which can lead to deeper connections.
Week 3: Shared Experience Challenge
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Goal: Strengthen connections through shared, fun experiences.
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How: Invite a friend, family member, or even a new acquaintance to try something new with you this week, like attending a cooking class, hiking a new trail, or visiting a museum.
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Outcome: Shared experiences create memorable moments and open the door for conversations and laughter, reinforcing bonds.
Week 4: Reconnect Challenge
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Goal: Reignite relationships that may have grown distant.
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How: This week, reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, whether it’s an old friend, former colleague, or family member. Send a message or arrange a call just to catch up and see how they’re doing.
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Outcome: This helps rebuild connections that may have faded, reminding both of you of the value of the relationship.
By participating in these challenges, you will prioritize your health and wellness by enhancing existing relationships and sparking new ones.
